I often tell women who I speak to either at speaking engagements or coaching sessions that they have to get some small & mid-size wins under their belt so they can have the courage to jump off the cliff for the big things. It's tough sometimes because as women we can analyze the crap out of a situation, eventually talking ourselves out of making moves. In contrast to some of my male counterparts, they get an idea, pull the details together, execute with less hesitation and then rework it after the first learning rounds.
Case in point about over analyzing....you ever been on the phone with one of your girlfriends who is really feeling a guy? They go on one great date and he seems to be really into her too but all of a sudden it seems that he flakes and doesn't call? Let me tell you, I've been on the other end of the phone with my girls and situations like this around relationships, work, you name it and we'll take the little bit of details we have, perform an autopsy analyzing every angle of it and create an entire storyline as to why the expected outcome didn't happen...and let me tell you, we get real wild with it. In my Rihanna voice..."Wild, wild, wild thoughts." (Okay...can somebody help me get that song out my mind...I digressed.) And all along, after we've "assessed things", it may be as simple as he had a big weekend with his family and the time just got away. Nothing deep at all...he was just busy. Girl...just busy.
We have this incredible gift of analyzation as women but sometimes we lean into that baby waaaaay too much. I want us to begin shifting and just get stuff done. Stop talking about it, dreaming about it, and analyzing it. And to babystep us into it, I want you to start with some small to mid-sized wins. Here's what that looked like for me....
For a really long time, I dreamed about getting one side of my hair shaved. It was so cool to me and I felt like it represented my personality well...a little classic on one side (with my bob) and edgy on the other. At the same time, not knowing that I desired to get the style, one of my close girlfriends mentioned that she was going to do it and so I just fell back a bit and squashed it because "in my overanalyzed mind", I didn't want her to think I was stealing her style. I know....sounds ridiculous to me even as I type this. Anywho, some YEARS passed and she hadn't done it yet. And in May, I was itching for a change...cutting off my hair is a thing when I'm making life shifts...we can talk about that later. So I called my stylist to schedule an appointment and I just did it. Gone were the thoughts of "Lawd, I don't have any natural sideburns, it's gonna look crazy". And then the thought I had conjured up in my head about my friend who is so not like this when I told her I did it, I found out she had ditched the idea a long time ago. And you know, even if she didn't, it was bananas to not do something because someone else was going to do it. Let me tell you, as those clippers rubbed against the side of head and the hair fell to the ground, it was like feeling free and liberated emerged like a phoenix. I looked in the mirror and it was as if my soul was singing, "Finally, you listened."
While this was "just my hair", this win set me up to get ready to move into some bigger areas of my life where I had been over analyzing the details and painting an outcome before I even took the first step.
So here's my challenge to you to complete in the next 21 days of you reading this....tell me one small or medium-sized thing that you've been wanting to do but you keep putting it off or you've just overanalyzed the mess out of it. I don't care if it's finally wear bright red lipstick, have a tough conversation with someone, or applying for that job you keep thinking about. Whatever it is, I want you to commit to do it. The beautiful thing that will emerge is that not only will it feel great to finally do it but you get to free up all that mental chatter that's been going on in your head because of the indecisiveness and perhaps fear. And once that thought is done, you make way for new creativity, ideas and inspiration.
So in the words of my grandma, and I'll clean it up a little for you (smile)..."Baby, it's time to pee or get off the pot!" Love you!